Saturday, April 15, 2017

Film: Fast & Furious 8


Human thumb Vin Diesel searches for his lost alpha-male role and his "fam bro you get me" in an exciting quest involving very expensive cars, most of which get smashed up. Charlize The Ron plays a high-end hacker who does very little of the hacking leaving it to a little Asian nerd who wouldn't look as hot with blond dreadlocks. Impressive CGI including a scene where they manage to make Michelle Rodriguez smile. Hollywood's interpretation of what zero-day exploits and EMPS can do continues to miss the mark. It also contains the worst English accent committed to screen since Don Cheadle in Oceans 11, and it's not Statham that's responsible.
Despite all that I still found it enjoyable, but it gets easier to say that as each one is released. The franchise benefits from having its audience having invested so much into it and should the Prince Charles run all 8 in a marathon, I'll be there.

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Film: War for the Planet of the Apes

The latest in the monkey series sees the monkey clan uproot and heading off to the desert, because that's a good climate for monkeys ...