Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Is this the Coolest Picture Ever?

Tesco's New Promotion...Incest!

(courtesy of b3ta)

Movie Quiz

Who has been the only Hollywood star to have been killed by all 3 celebrity owners of Planet Hollywood?

Post your answers below. No prize for the winner, it's just for fun and bragging rights.

What I didn't want for Christmas...

...was to be prescribed a course of anti-biotics.

I've had a cold the last week (who in the UK hasn't) and on Saturday whilst I slept it got to my ear and infected it. It was nice to wake up in the morning and not be able to hear anything from the left, really it was!

Today I finally got to the doctors who confirmed it was a little infected and blocked (like, duuhhhhhh!!!) and he's put me on a course of capsules to help and recommended I get some ear drops too.

The downside is that we start our Christmas parties next week and as you run the risk of exploding if you mix medicine and alcohol I can't really get drunk. It also means I'm not getting the full benefit of my iPod on the journey to and from work. That's not so bad as music, like cute little kittens and puppies, is not just for Christmas but for life; the same cannot be said of Christmas parties.

Overtake at your peril

I wonder if anyone has had an accident passing these trucks?
(courtesy of

Dean Gray Tuesday

Those that know me may know that I'm a big fan of bootleg mixes such as those posted by partyben and gybo. Occasionally a few of them get together and remix an entire album from a big artist. These have included the likes of The Prodigy and Chemical Brothers. The most famous would have been DJ Danger Mouse's mixing of Jay-Zs "Black" album with the Beatle's "White" album to produce, yes you've guessed it the "Grey" album. Soon after it's releasing on the net, EMI issued a cease-and-desist order and the site hosting it was pulled down. Its popularity exploded when the media reported on a mass protest called Grey Tuesday where as many people as possible hosted the files for people to download as a "f*** you" to the record company.

Well this time another bootlegger Dean Grey, with a little help from Party Ben, put up a remix of Green Day's "American Idiot" album called "American Edit", mixing the tracks with the likes of the Doctor Who theme tune, Kanye West, Blur, Bryan Adams, U2 and Coldplay amongst others. This week Warner's issued a cease and desist order and the files have been pulled. Well it looks like the bootlegging community is putting up a fight and another mass protest has been called this time called "Dean Grey Tuesday" (have to like the gray/grey pun) where the files will be available for one day only on the 13th of December on as many sites as is possible. If I had my own site I'd post them, instead I'll make the files available to those who ask; not sure how I'll do that exactly :D

Clearly I'm not opposed to bootlegging and to be honest I can't understand the attitude of the record companies. No one takes money away from the record companies or their artists, this is all free. The original material is being copied in part, but it is not the original recording that is being put out for people to download, just a reworking of it. The albums that get remixed in this way are usually those albums that are going to or have already sold thousands. American Idiot has been one of the biggest selling albums in recent years and ironically it's been a remix of one of their tracks,"Boulevard of Broken Dreams", which has become the biggest bootleg this year. People who are into the bootlegging scene probably have bigger music collections than most and are certainly more into music than the average fan, you need to be. Paul Morley couldn't have been closer when he described the bootleggers as having "a love of music bordering on the diseased". Actions like these won't stop these guys.

I would imagine that the band wouldn't mind their material being used in this manner, it's clearly some exec sat in his fancy chair behind a desk who is as responsible for the music as I am that is on a power trip. Besides isn't any publicity good publicity. Perhaps that's why they've done it.

Click here for more on Dean Gray Tuesday

Tagged by Someone Breathless

One of those posts that passes from blog to blog.
This one comes from someone I don't yet know but who's blog I enjoy reading; you know who you are!

5 faults
1) I don't socialise enough, particular with women I don't know.
2) I am unconfrontational, prefering to just walk away (although I think it's a good thing, most don't).
3) I am quick to pick up on others' grammatical errors.
4) I don't like coffee in all its forms.
5) I remember everything that people got up to on drunken nights out and am happy to fill in the gaps the next day.

10 facts
1) My tongue is pierced.
2) I have 3 tattoos.
3) I don't look like I should have either.
4) I can fit a stack of 16 pringles in my mouth.
5) Cats don't like me.
6) Mine is the same as your's. Nice to know I'm not the only one!
7) I can't juggle
8) I've attended all 10 B-Boy championships in London.
9) I once got a high-five from MCA of the Beastie Boys.
10) I lost my glasses at the same gig when my face collided with a stage diver.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Rodney Mullen is Still a God

Whilst it's Tony Hawk who's become famous for his big jumps and vert tricks, Rodney Mullens is the master of flatland and does tricks that just sound impossible. Don't believe it's possible to grind on the front of an upturned board or spin on a single wheel then check this out. Link comes courtesy of DevilDucky

William S Burroughs: Thanksgiving Prayer

I remember hearing this a few years ago and like the works of Bill Hicks seems just as relevant today as the first time I heard it. I'm not anti-American by any means, I just believe it's as important to hear the voice of those who don't confirm as those that do. Link courtesy of DevilDucky

2nd celebrity sighting in a week

Earlier in the week I saw Lee McDonald jogging past me. To those that don't know him he played the part of Zammo McGuire in Grange Hill. He told our generation to "Just Say No" then developed a drug habit. I guess the plan had always been to make it easier to get the drugs himself by removing the competition.

Today, whilst in Croydon I saw Vanetha from this year's Big Brother. I think that was her name, well that's how she pronounced it. She was famous for doing nothing at all. I'm surprised I recognised her; no one else appeared to.

As with the time I saw Sam in Sutton a few months ago, I was so enthralled I went off and did something equally as exciting. Namely taking a dump in the nearest toilet.

Transporter 2

I've gone with the continental poster here as it is much better than the British one don't you think, even if it does rip off Bond a bit. Actually the film rips off quite a lot of other movies.

The original was a film that didn't do that well in the cinema but seemed to do well enough through DVD sales to justify a sequel. The second is more of the same; lots of action sequences spliced together with bad acting from untalented 'actors' and a ridiculous plot with more holes than the film "Holes".

Jason (lock stock) Statham plays a special agent, who is very skilled at diving to the side whilst shooting (see poster) who has now settled down as a chauffeur to the son of a man due to speak at a large DEA conference. Bad guys come up with an elaborate plot to infect the kiddy with an air-borne virus that he'd pass on to his dad who in turn would infect everybody at the meeting; a bad case of halitosis if you will. After MI:2 you'd have thought the bad guys would have come up with something a little bit imaginative as this is pretty much the same as that. Anyway, it becomes Jason's job to be Tom Cruise and save the day whilst keeping his suit and car immaculate.

In fact, the lack of damage to the car was the first thing I noticed watching this film. He does damage his shirt and jacket but they get replaced. The car however gets flipped, shot at and driven through steel support poles amongst other things but seems to come off scratch free. One funny sequence with the car sees him remove a bomb from the underside, not by getting out and removing it by hand, but by barrel-rolling it in the air beneath the hook from a crane which knocks it off. Either inspired or dumb, depending on whether or not you left your brain at home, and with films like this it's best to have done the latter.

Fight sequences aren't too bad. He does rip off Jet Li in a sequence involving a fire hose. There is also a scene involving a fight in and around some scaffolding which could easily have come from a twenty-year old Jackie Chan film. However, for reasons unknown, this scaffolding contained steam which sprayed out of the pipes when broken. Maybe scaffolders in Miami require central heating in their scaffolding although given it's climes I can't see how. The first film had a novel sequence involving Jason covered in engine oil and being ungrippable by the baddies and there is a little nod to that here too.

There are no big names in this film. Statham isn't quite up there with the Hollywood elite just yet. The baddies seem to consist of models or former linebackers or boxers. I recall seeing Shannon Briggs throwing 500 punches a round in his heyday as a heavyweight boxer, a career that seemed to end when it was realised that his incredible work rate hid the fact he couldn't take a punch. He plays the token heavy here and whilst he has the muscle to see the role off, he lacks the acting talent. Admittedly this isn't Shakespeare and he does OK considering the genre. The model who plays the crazy girl with the 2 mini-uzis is much more watchable. Fortunately being set in Florida she was able to walk around the place in just her lingerie. If the film had been set in Alaska, I doubt her presence would have been as enthralling, unless they made her wear lingerie there too that is! Fellow lock stock actor Jason Flemyng (neither Fleming or Phlegming) does play the first russian scientist baddy since Alan Cummings in Goldeneye, no pen spinning here though.

The film is quite short coming in at around 90 minutes and the ending does seem rushed. The final sequence involving a fight in a crashing aircraft is technically well shot but it's ridiculousness and sloppy CGI let it down.

If you liked the first then you'll like this. If you fancy a change from the 8 screens of Harry Potter (as is happening at my local) then you can do no wrong with this, if you're prepared to accept it for what it is and not criticise it too much.

Oh, and he doesn't appear to transport anything this time around. Maybe he will in the third one, if the DVD sales do well again. Let's face it, it's not going to get much from the cinema given it is up against The Goblet of Fire. A shame it can't rip off the sales of that film.

British Marines

The big news in the tabloids this weekend surrounds secret footage of a so-called training session where marines were made to fight naked with rubber sleeves and then barefisted. When one of the marines refuses to wrestle he is kicked in the face and knocked out by one of the officers dressed a surgeon.

It all sounds quite bizarre and whilst I can see the need to fight to make the soldiers tough, I don't get why they had to be naked, nor do I get what the guy was suppose to learn by being kicked in the face.

Good to see that jokes are coming out of the internet already. This from b3ta.

Swearing Competition

Bush and Blair trying to out-swear each other. Very clever editing.
Swearing Competition

Clip Tip

Cliptip is a blog site that I've been subscribing to for a few week's now and it saves me going off to find interesting pop videos; The people behind this site save me the effort. Thanks guys!

They've posted a link to the new White Stripes video "The Denial Twist" directed by Michel Gondry, and it is very strange to say the least. It's like the entire video is shot in a hall of mirrors with bodies stretching to ridculous extremes. The ending shows how the set is structured which you don't usually see in a vid; a nice touch.

18 Tricks to Teach Your Body

Some of these sound ridiculous enough to work. Article courtesy of Men's Health here

Friday, November 25, 2005

Oh Dear!!

Very funny but in extremely bad taste.


On a day where the country has been remembering George Best, a past it footballer infamous for his partying, womanising and continual abuse of his body even after a liver transplant, it was sad to hear that Pat Morita had passed away today.

He may have been ridiculously stereo-typed as the Oriental wise man, but he did it well, most notably in Karate Kid, a film the majority of my generation grew up with.

Wipe on, Wipe off.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Director's Label

After waiting a month for Play to send these out and then having to send one back because they'd cocked the order up (shame on you Play), I finally got my hands on the latest 4 DVDs in the Director's Label series.

For those that don't know, these DVDs compile the works of stand out video directors putting all their videos and adverts (where they've shot those too) onto a single disk along with interviews etc. A really good gift for someone into the medium of pop videos.

Last year we had the works of Spike Jonze, Chris Cunningham and Michel Gondry which were superb. This year we get the works of 4 more. I'll list the videos and the ones in bold are the reasons for me buying these.

Anton Corbijn is perhaps most famous for his work with Depeche Mode, and features people prominantly in his videos. If you remember Dave Gahan dressed as a King with a deckchair under his arm, this was one of his. Perhaps the weakest of the 4 but still great.

Propaganda "Dr. Mabuse"
David Sylvian "Red Guitar"
Echo and the Bunnymen "Seven Seas"
Godlen Earring "Quiet Eyes"
Echo and the Bunnymen "The Game"
Depeche Mode "Behind the Wheel"
Joy Division "Atmosphere"
Joni Mitchell with Peter Gabriel "My Secret Place"
Depeche Mode "Enjoy the Silence"
U2 "One"
Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds "Straight to You"
Depeche Mode "Walking in my Shoes"
Nirvana Heart "Shaped Box"
Henry Rollins "Liar"
Metallica "Hero of the Day"
Metallica "Mama Said"
Depeche Mode "Barrel of a Gun"
Depeche Mode "It's No Good"
Herbert Gronemeyer "Bleibt Alles Anders"
Mercury Rev "Opus 40"
Mercury Rev "Goddess on a Hiway"
Joseph Arthur "In the Sun"
Herbert Gronemeyer "Mensch"
U2 "Electrical Storm"
Travis "Re-Offender"
The Killers "All These Things That I've Done"

Jonathon Glazer is perhaps the best director of the 4 and is easily in the Cunningham/Jonze league. The stand out track video here is Rabbit in Your Headlights which features a mentally disturbed man being repeatedly run over by traffic. Definitely one of those videos that was shown post-watershed. This is also the guy who did the Guiness Surfer advert (tick follows tock), which is also on the disk.

Radiohead "Street Spirit"
Jamiroquai "Virtual Insanity"
Richard Ashcroft "A Song for the Lovers"
Nick Cave and "The Bad Seeds Into My Arms"
UNKLE "Rabbit in Your Headlights"
Blur "The Universal"
Radiohead "Karma Police"
Massive Attack "Karmacoma"

Stephane Sednaoui is another director who's stuff you've seen but are probably not aware of. If you had to pick the best videos by Red Hot Chilli Peppers or Bjork you'd probably pick Give It Away (the one where they're painted as silver demons) and Big Time Sensuality (Bjork dancing on the back of a truck through New York) and these were both directed by him.

Mirwais "I Can't Wait"
Tricky "For Real"
Red Hot Chili Peppers "Scar Tissue"
Mirwais "Disco Science"
R.E.M. "Lotus"
Bjork "Possibly Maybe"
Alanis Morisette "Ironic"
Tricky "Pumpkin"
Massive Attack "Sly"
Youssou N'Dour & Neneh Cherry "Seven Seconds"
Bjork "Big Time Sensuality"
Black Crowes "Sometimes Salvation"
U2 "Mysterious Ways"
Red Hot Chili Peppers "Give It Away"
NTM "Le Monde de Demain"
U2 "Discotheque"

Finally we have Mark Romanek who has done some of the most spectacular videos featuring crazy walls of lights and over the top firework displays as backdrops to the acts. He is also the director of the most expensive video to date, Scream by Janet and Michael Jackson which is also here.

Jay-Z "99 Problems"
Link Park "Faint"
Red Hot Chili Peppers "Can't Stop"
Johnny Cash "Hurt"
Audioslave "Cochise"
No Doubt "Hella Good"
Mick Jagger "God Gave Me Everything"
Janet Jackson "Got 'til it's Gone"
Fiona Apple "Criminal"
Nine Inch Nails "Perfect Drug"
Beck "Devil's Haircut"
Weezer "El Scorcho"
Eels "Novocaine for the Soul"
Sonic Youth "Little Trouble Girl"
Michael and Janet Jackson "Scream"
Madonna "Bedtime Story"
R.E.M. "Strange Currencies"
G.Love and Special Sauce "Cold Beverage"
Nine Inch Nails "Closer"
David Bowie "Jump they Say"
Madonna "Rain"
Lenny Kravitz "Are You Gonna Go My Way"
Keith Richards "Wicked as it Seems"

What have I bought this week!

Trying not to get too addicted to iTunes but this week I have mostly been downloading...

"Antics" by Interpol
I saw the video to "Evil" on Colonel Blimp and totally love this track. If you've seen a video featuring a puppet at the scene of a car crash, this is the track. After hearing another couple of tracks I decided to buy the album. Not bad at all.

"Everyone is Someone in LA" by Felix da Housecat
This is the stand out track on the new Tony Hawk's game. It sounds like some old punk tune but is actually produced by one of the biggest House DJs out there. Completely catchy, and whilst I've already completed the game, there is no way I'm going to tire of this track.

"Love Generation" by Bob Sinclair
He had a big hit with the Jane Fonda workout sample a few years ago ("and back 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8) and has had probably produced this year's Summer anthem. OK, so it rips off the whistling from Frankie Knuckle's "Whistle Song" but it's still great.

"Doctor Pressure" by Mylo vs Miami Sound Machine
Yes I like my bootlegs, and this is cheesy as hell, but it's a great great pairing. That Mylo track can be put to just about anything and it would sound superb.

"Big Fun" by Inner City
Just a great tune from the 80s that I saw and thought I'd add to my collection. Now if I can just find an unmixed "Pennies from Heaven" I'd be happy.

"Rez" by Underworld
Another tune that blew me away the first time I heard it. It was actually played a lot on MTV's Party Zone years ago and the video consisted of nothing but coloured circles strobing on the screen. The track goes on for about 10 minutes and takes it's time building up into a track that would still rock the floor a decade on.

"Without You" by Dogzilla
The best track on the last Euphoria CD and now finally released as a single. Epic trance track which actually has a decent vocal which puts it leagues above the crappy trance that is advertised on the telly. Once in a blue moon there are tracks that are so good I'll put them on a loop (which thinking about it would make a great post in itself). This is the most recent.

"I Miss You" by Blink-182
I have the early albums by this lot but thought they'd gone a bit stale so didn't bother the more recent ones. However this track stands out so I decided to buy it. A nice drum track and just a tune that is full of energy; I like it!

A nice London sunset.

Skies aren't usually this nice in London.
Fortunately I had my camera on me.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Not "Giblet of Fire" as I'd accidentally typed initially, although that would have been quite a novel twist (pun not intended).

"Whoever's name comes out of this chicken intestine will take part in the Tri-Wizard tournament".

But I digress.

Welcome to the fourth movie adaptation of Rowling's tale of a young wizard called Harry and his adventures at a school for wizards called Hogwarts. Oh you know all that already, why preach to the converted?

This was the first of the big books and it was always going to be interesting to see what would be cut from the film whilst staying true to the book. To be honest director Mike Newell seems to have cut the right bits out; so it's bye to Harry discovering that Darth Voldemort is his father and that Snape is really Keyser Soze. If you want those story lines you'll have to go and find the book that I just made up.

The vast majority of the book's start takes place around the Quidditch world championships but this gets trimmed to about twenty minutes in the film. Personally I'd have liked to see more of the championships as just as the intensity of the team introductions had built up we cut to Harry's gang making their way back to their tardis tent once the game is over. Instead the film focuses on the rest of the book with the Tri-Wizard tournament where 3 schools come together (a bit selective to say the least) and put their best pupil forward for the chance to become famous across the magic world; a sorceror equivalent of Pop Idol so to speak, only with no Simon Cowell to tell them how terrible they are. There's also a secondary story of Harry plucking up the courage to invite a girl to the school ball and no, it's not Hermione, but again you all already know that.

With so many characters established in the first 3 films, it was nice to see that the most famous actors and actresses took on more of a cameo role this time, allowing some of the minor characters to step up and take centre stage, in as much as there is a stage in a movie production. The likes of Snape, Hagrid, Dumbledore and MacGonagall all have much less of a role this time round with the limelight being given to the ginger twins, Neville and Ginny (they are not the Ginger twins I was referring to). This is the first film where you won't see any Dursley's as they've been cut completely. Of course Harry, Ron and Hermione are the principal characters in this film too. We get to see Voldemort properly for the first time in this film too and Ralph Fiennes does a good job here although I couldn't help but think that it was really Christopher Eccleston playing the part. Brendon Gleeson is this year's Dark Arts teacher Mad Old Moody, and his character is great with his ridiculously inflated artificial eye that sees all.

The film comes in at a little under 3 hours but the pacing is fine, and you don't get bored. Even the little kiddies in the cinema were enthralled for the duration, which after making the mistake of going to see the Phantom Menace during daytime and enduring bored kids climbing over seats et al, this was nice to see.

Earlier films have featured British Rock Stars in "blink and you'll miss
em" roles. If you were quick enough to spot Ian Brown in Azkaban will probably spot Jarvis Cocker this time. But did you spot the other member of Pulp and 2 from Radiohead? If not go back and look again!

The franchise is getting stronger, and to think if Steven Spielberg had been picked as director we'd have had to endure that kid from the Sixth Sense as Harry. Hurrah for JK insisting on a predominanlty British cast and another hurrah for demanding Cho retain her Scottish accent.

and yes, I was crazy enough to go to Leicester Square on opening weekend.

Sunday, November 13, 2005

America Trip 2005

My place has been confirmed for the US tour next year.
To show how much I'm covering, here're the states I've visited so far.

and here's what it will be like after the tour, if I get to go to all the places afterwards.

create your own personalized map of the USA
or check out ourCalifornia travel guide

Roll on May!

Where in the world have you been?

create your own visited country map
or check our Venice travel guide

Owners who look like their dogs

Squeaky Voice

This poor presenter can't handle the guest having such a high voice, courtesy of Click here

You Know What Grinds My Gears?

No, not Lindsey Lohan, and no, not the new Family Guy DVD, which is extremely funny but that new advert that is being shown in cinemas telling me not to watch pirate movies.

Now, surely the fact I'm sat in the cinema would be taken as a sign that I don't watch pirate movies. The intended audience for the clip are those that won't be in the cinema but watching the forementioned bootlegs at home where they're not going to see the advert.

Thanks for trying to make me feel bad for doing the right thing, British Cinema Industry. I'll add you to the same list as Sony for punishing those who DON'T do the wrong thing.

Oh, and if I had a girlfriend who looked like Katie Holmes and she jumped at The Fantastic Four like that, I'd dump her :P

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

The plan had been to see The Constant Gardener but when I got to the cinema the staff had put up a sign that said "The constant garden is fully booked". I guess they meant the same film. Would you need a gardener if the garden remained constant? That would be quite a dull film.

The only alternative was Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, which I had seen the trailer to a few weeks ago but I didn't take the name in because I was too preoccupied with how fat Val Kilmer's face had become.

The film stars Hollywood's favourite drug addict Robert Downey Jr. as a toy shop thief from the East Coast who, by an odd twist of fate, finds himself in Hollywood following an accidental audition sesson that he in advertantly stumbled into whilst escaping from Police.

Along the way he stumbles across an old school crush, who is in Hollywood pursuing an Hollywood career. The two of them then find themselve's caught up in a murder plot which takes a few twists and turns, as you'd expect in a film like this.

The film is very well written with a very funny script that takes delight in poking fun at Hollywood and other movies. However you find yourself laughing so much that you lose focus on the plot line, particularly towards the end as the story reaches it's climax.

Robert Downey is very good leading this movie and fat Val does well in the support role as the gay movie producer. There is some very snappy dialogue between the two of them, which provides most of the mirth. There is also a good quantity of dark comedy which I am always partial too anyway.

This isn't a film that I would have chosen to see had circumstances dictated I do so, however I am glad I did as it was better than I had expected, especially once I'd got use to seeing Fat Chin. There is no way he'd be repicked for the next Batman film looking like that, and if there was going to be a sequel to The Doors, they'd have to be wide ones.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

Actual Game Descriptions as Titles

Another photoshop contest where computer game packages get renamed to something a little more descriptive

Click here

What religion best suits me.

Saw this on Tom's site and thought I'd give it a go.
My results are below.

You scored as Satanism. Your beliefs most closely resemble those of Satanism! Before you scream, do a bit of research on it. To be a Satanist, you don't actually have to believe in Satan. Satanism generally focuses upon the spiritual advancement of the self, rather than upon submission to a deity or a set of moral codes. Do some research if you immediately think of the satanic cult stereotype. Your beliefs may also resemble those of earth-based religions such as paganism.



















Actually I'm just as much atheist as satanist before you start thinking I'm the sort of person who kills goats for religious kicks. Am I surprised by the results? Not particularly. I know I'm not religious in the common sense of the term, but I do live by a moral code, even if that code isn't in line with the norm; it's good to be different and at least now I have an explanation for why I chose the tattoos I did haha!

Which religion is the right one for you? (new version)
created with

Saturday, November 05, 2005

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Thousand-hand Bodhisattva Dance

I hope girls 2 thru 19 didn't spend too long on their makeup!

DevilDucky - Thousand-hand Bodhisattva Dance

Nude Brits shop while drunk

Quite a funny article. Whilst I will confess to shopping online drunk I've never done it naked. 50% correct in my case!

For the record I hadn't realised I'd ordered £100 worth of Jackie Chan DVDs until they arrived.

Nude Brits shop while drunk | The Register

Be a dog I must

Barking mad!

Animal Cruelty has been doing the rounds on the net and now it looks like Richard & Judy have got in the act.Dog Bugs

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Lost Rhapsody

Lost Rhapsody
Someone quite clearly has waaaaaaaaaaaaay too much time on their hands. It's actually very clever and did make me laugh.

Film #54: Deadpool 2

Following the success of Infinity War we get our next Marvel franchise and it's the second outing for Deadpool. The first film's ...