Yesterday I was at my best mate's place for a barbecue. It rained a little but that failed to stop us all from having a good evening. As a flat-warming present she bought me a bonsai tree, the rationale being that if I can take care of that then a woman should be no problem at all.
So at the end of the night I'm quite drunk but not as bad as I have been in the past but it was still quite odd walking home balancing a bonsai tree in one hand. I'm not sure what people who drove past would have made of it (Hey it's a drunk guy with a tree). I'm glad the police didn't stop me or else the conversation might have gone something like this.
Cop: Is that your bonsai Sir?
Me : Yes, honest guvnor (because that's how we talk in London)
Cop: I think you stole that tree.
Me : I didn't steal it, it's a plant.
Cop: I'm arresting you on suspicion of using a bad pun.
Both I and the tree made it home safe and sound. The plant now has it's home beside my bed and is being well looked after. This weekend I'll go out and find the nutrients it needs; until then it'll have to make do with water.
Have I given it a name? Nah, it's just a plant.
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