Reckon they're playing live?

Iron Maiden appeared on a German TV show and got fed up with the director during rehearsals so decided to get their own back. The results can be seen here

Daniel Chesterfield

This guy is going to be big in the world of magic and illusion. Link

My Brother's Wedding.

After two years of thorough planning, my brother married Lianne at Knebworth Barns. The day was perfect, everything worked exactly as they'd wanted.

On the way to the photograph taking. The junior divison of Reservoir Dogs go to work.

Enjoying the weather whilst Bride and Groom pose for pics. I catch dad by surprise.

A proper piper was brought in to provide musical accompaniment to the ceremony and during the picture taking. There's a great story with this chap and my dad, which my brother didn't realise when he chose him. It's a small world.

Bride, Groom and the bridesmaids outside Knebworth Hall.

The obligatory "lets litter the area with paper and flowers" shot.

Fair to say my brother is happy now that he's married. No reason to be nervous now!

Getting ready for the speeches. Liverpool fans were tuned into the FA cup final.

Lianne and Andrew get ready to hand out the favours to the guests.

"I didn't fart"

Mum and Dad during the meal, smile!

The father of the Bride Steve doing his bit to get into the Scottish Vibe :D His speech was funny. I got a good response too (I was best man) but was nervous as hell when it was time to say my speech, I'm glad I had the room laughing at the right time..

The cutting of the cake. Hey quit kissing and cut the cake.

The first dance was to "Suddenly" by Billy Ocean. I thought it would have been "Electric Avenue"

It was the kids that kept the dancefloor buzzing.

My cousin's little girl Briagh taking pics. Everyone was given a camera to capture the day. A great idea!

A rare shot of me in front of the lense. I hate having my picture taken.

Briagh's older sister Lauren. I liked how this pic came out.

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!

Later in the evening and I'm looking the worst for wear.

Managed a smile in this one.

One of Andrew's workmates, Riann with his girlfriend Ruth. Both are great dancers and stole the floor when the music picked up!

Zoe with her boyfriend Ross.

The night becomes too much for the little 'uns.

The day went great, and I am really happy for the two of them. I wish them all the best for their future together.

Oh, and if anyone is wondering what I wore under the kilt. Lets just say a cousin ensured I was wearing it properly. Its funny how much attention you get when you wear one. I'll be getting one for future parties methinks.

Em Eye - Eye Eye Eye

Or Mission Impossible 3, as most people would call it. It should really be called "Watch Tom Run 3" however as that is what this film consists of most of the time. Being an action movie, Lost Director JJ Abrams has gone for the easy way of making action movies in having Tom do everything quickly to match the tension. He should realise that to be uber cool, he should learn the Schwarzenegger technique of walking whilst killing people, like he did in Terminator 2. Its just so much better killing people at a slower pace, and you don't work up such a sweat. We even have one hilarious scene where we're told he has to run a mile through crowded streets in the slums of Shanghai, which he completes in well under four minutes. Run Tom Run....

The film is an improvement on the last film, but I'm not sure whether it is as good as the first. The big problem is that Tom's in it too much, but then he is the producer. His team consists of 3 others and their involvement seems quite trivial. I had the impression that if Ethan Hunt could clone himself he'd play all the team members himself, including the female role.

It tries to outbond Bond by having better gadgets, better locations, nicer cars (even if they do get blown up) and in that regards the film is successful. It's surprising how no-one thought of having magnetic bombs before, they're really cool. Rather ironically it'll be interesting to see how the new Bond film does having foregone all of this to return to a more basic plot without the gimmicks.

Speaking of plot, this story is a bit convoluted. Ethan is asked to rescue a kidnapped agent from the clutches of Owen Davian (played very well by Philip Capote Seymour Hoffman), a black market dealer with a penchant for putting bombs up people's noses. After one of the bomb goes off with hysterically funny results, Ethan decides to defy his bosses orders and kidnap Owen. After he escapes capture he then kidnaps Ethan's new wife and forces him to steal something called "The Rabbit's Foot", which disappointingly wasn't a real rabbits foot.

In this film they've tried to expand on Ethan's personality by showing his personal life, which sucks. A lot of the time these scenes are playing out you just want them to finish and the next action sequence to start. If only cinemas had fast forwards, I'd have used them quite a bit in this film. I wouldn't have minded if we'd have seen the same of the other members in the team. Instead they just pop up when needed then disappear when they don't.

I also don't like films that have a happy final scene with all the main characters having big cheesy grins, the sort of scene that Police Squad used to lampoon. I knew the film would be full of Tom's grin anyway so should really have expected it.

Oh, and apparently IMF, the agency that Ethan is a member of, stands for "Impossible Mission Force". Almost as pathetic sounding as BFG in the Doom movie standing for "Big Force Gun". And why is there no big band doing the intro? In the first film we had 2 of U2, in the second we had Limp Bizkit. In this one we have some weird brass band. Well that's what it sounds like.

The Sultan's Elephant

One of Britains largest free art shows started today in London with a show called The Sultan's Elephant. Earlier in the week a rocket crashed into London and today an absolutely massive elephant was paraded around the city.

The whole thing is very French and I mean that in a good way. No one does visual art quite as good as them, and the attention to detail on the elephant was stunning. Although it's driven on wheels, the legs, head, trunk, ears, mouth and just about all of it moves to look like it's walking. Even the tongue moves, and it roars and sprays water too.

Unfortunately I wasn't prepared properly for this and both my battery and back up had run out of charge but I managed to get a few pics before they died. I passed the rocket on the way home and had no charge left at that point.

The whole thing runs for the duration of the weekend and I'm glad I saw it.

Eurovision 2006 Lithuanian Entry

What better way to get people to vote for you than to incorporate doing just that into the lyrics of the song. This is a gamble that could either pay off or fall flat on its arse, but with the worst music contest on the planet you never know how things will pan out.
Eurovision 2006 Lithuanian Entry

Slither

The final film of the weekend was a cinema release that I gambled on going to. Fortunately the pager didn't go off although to be honest I wouldn't have minded if it had.

The film tells the story of an slug type alien presence that crashes near a small town and takes over the body of one of the townsfolk, with a rather unfortunate name of Grant Grant. Having been taken control of Grant it then kidnaps a local woman to become the host for some more slugs. The slugs then gradually take over the town and its up to the good looking leads to save the day.

The film is a comedy-horror more Shaun of the Dead than Scary movie, although not as good as either, which says something considering how bad the latter is. Whereas Shaun of the Dead was laugh out loud funny and gory this is barely raises a chuckle but is quite gory. In fact I think I only laughed once, towards the end of the movie, when the male lead (Malcolm from Serenity) sees what has happened to Grant (Michael Rooker, Henry Portrait of a Serial Killer).

The effects are alright, featuring the obligatory "man gets split vertically in two" effect that appears more and more in these films. There is a little nod to classic gore movie "Society" towards the end but not done as well, which is shocking considering that film is almost 20 years old.

Performances are what you'd expect from this genre, nothing too challenging. Just screaming on cue etc.. The cop out with zombie movies is that you don't really have to try too hard to be one. Just stiffen the joints, walk like you've pooed your pants and moan, which you would be entitled to do if you had pooed.

Whilst in Belgium I saw posters advertising the film with the Tagline "You'll shit yourself" or something equally inappropriate although having not taken any pictures of it I can't back it up. I can't find any foreign posters online either.

Oh, and if you do go and see it please watch it to the end of the credits as apparently there's something at the end I missed. I'd appreciate it if you could let me know what it is. Thanks!

Nightwatch

Apparently the most successful movie of all time..........if you're Russian.
This was a film I first saw the trailer to months ago and it looked awesome, great CGI plenty of vampire battles; everything that Underworld and Constantine could have been and a possible Blade beater.

However I watched the film last night and I didn't get it at all. The story tells of 2 factions, light and dark who form a truce to not kill each other. Both sides have a shift that police the other to ensure the truce is upheld. The nightwatch in the title refers to the goodies that police the vampires that come out only at night.

When an attempt by some of the vampires to drink the blood of a human boy is thwarted a vampire is killed (pretty cool ceramic head death) opening a feud between the two sides. The beginning of a foretold prophecy manifesting itself (on the underground of all places) runs alongside that story as another thread. When the two threads come together it is discovered that the boy that would have had his blood sucked dry is actually the deciding factor mentioned in the prophecy and when he picks a side that side will eventually take over the world.

The film is the first part of a trilogy from what I can tell. Discussion boards seem to think that the third may be shot in the U.S. which is pissing a lot of fans off. This leads me to conclude that the second has already been shot.

The film does have clever CGI especially in the gloom (fog that the vampires thrive in at night) and the battle scenes are impressive. However I came away from this thinking that the trailer was a lot more exciting than the final product. Perhaps in the context of a trilogy it might be good but this first chapter wasn't very good at all so I'm not sure I'll even bother with the other two.

Flightplan

Jodie Foster takes her kid on a flight and no one believes her when she disappears (the kid not Jodie, that would be rubbish if the lead vanished). Is she mad or is she telling the truth? That's the premise in this film that I managed to avoid over the last few months but decided to watch this weekend.

Jodie does alright in this film even with her obligatory southern accent, which annoys me. It was the main reason for not wanting to see this film in the first place. Sean Bean does alright as the Pilot of the plane, clearly cast for this English accent that offsets Jodies. Peter Sarsgaard (nice word for scrabble) plays the air marshal who can't appear to keep control of Jodie when she goes a bit potty.

This film is so full of holes, it takes away from any credibility the film writes might have had in putting the film together. Apart from the biggest oversight being an aircraft full of passengers not knowing if the girl has been taken or not, there are plenty of others.

They make a big deal of the cockpit being secure but then there is a scene which shows a clear crawlspace between there and one of the toilets. Secondly Jodie's character knows a lot about the layout of the plane which is surprising considering we're told her job was putting the engines on the plane.

The obligatory twist is stupid and inconceivable and spoils the film even more. The one thing that I did like about the film was the camerawork which moves fluidly around the plane as if the walls and ceiling weren't there. I think it says more about the film when I enjoyed the making of featurette more than the film itself.

Oh, and don't give the characters the surname of "Pratt", that's just asking for a negative review.

A History of Violence

This is a weird one.

David Cronenberg is perhaps the second most off-the-wall director out there (David Lynch has to be the first) making movies that defy Hollywood convention.

This one however is quite mainstream for him but still has those little touches of his that ensure you don't think he's lost it.

The film tells the tale of Tom Stall, a diner owner in a small town who becomes a local hero after foiling a robbery attempt, killing the two robbers along the way. As he becomes use to the fame he attracts the attention of some out-of-town gangsters who believe he is a mobster called Joey who has gone into hiding.

The plot is very straightforward and Cronenberg doesn't throw in any twists, that most directors would. What the film is about is the devastation to the family, in particular his wife, that the possible revelation has. The performances are alright but there isn't much in the script to challenge them artistically.

The ending is kept intentionally ambiguous which is perhaps the twist that Cronenberg had intended to give us (I'm not spoiling anything in saying that).

Doom

Film 2 in the weekend marathon and another computer game adaptation although this one is a loose use of the licence unlike FF7.

The game never really had a story, you would just run around and shoot monsters that jumped out of the dark at you. So this was never going to win any awards for best screenplay. When a distress call is sent from an archaeological dig, a team of galactic commandoes, led by WWE franchised eyebrow The Rock, are sent to investigate.

They then find the scientists infected with a condition that turns them into zombies which threaten the planet should they escape from the laboratories they're currently running amok in. A back story shows that a botched genetic experiment was the cause.

The film is shite, and I suspect this due to the lack of story to work on. Rosamund Pike is drafted in as a doctor providing the only female role in the film. Fortunately for the executives there is no love thread involving her. Instead she's the feuding sister of one of the marines.

There are a couple of nods to the game, in particular with the weaponry with each marine having their weapon of choice being one of the selectable weapons in the game. The BFG is in the game too as a hidden weapon. I cried with despair when they called it the Big Force Gun, fortunately the writers redeemed themselves when The Rock later referred to it by its real name "The Big Fucking Gun". In perhaps the closest nod to the original game there is a first person sequence that runs for about 5 minutes. It's during this sequence where an axe wielding zombie drops the axe into his head that provided the biggest laugh out loud moment.

A strange piece of casting was having Dexter Fletcher play the part of a administrator who has lost his legs and moves around on CGI wheels. I wonder what he was thinking when he agreed to play that part.

I don't think we've yet to have a good adaptation of a computer game yet, although Silent Hill might manage it. On the scale of adaptations I think this one would have to be down the bottom of the scale close to the Super Mario Brothers movie. Doom is a horror game but rather than make a horror movie they made an action one, and I don't think it works as well as it could have.

Final Fantasy VII - Advent Children

Start of a bank holiday weekend here in the UK and as I was on backup support there wasn't too much I could do as I have to be near a phone if there are any problems. I decided therefore to stock up on films I've overlooked over the last few months.

The first one was the Final Fantasy VII movie which I saw advertised in Japan and had mistakingly thought was a PS2 remake of the original game. It's not however, it's a CGI film set shortly after the ending of the game and features most of the main characters from the game.

It tells the story of a virus infecting the population including Cloud, the main character from the game. A trio of criminals hatch a plot to exploit the virus to take over the world.

To be honest the story is too complex to cover here really and it's difficult to keep up with it. Fans of FFVII will have no difficulty with the world in which the game and this movie are set. I had played the game but not all the way through to completion so didn't really get what was going on.

This DVD however is getting the praise, not for its storytelling but the CGI, which is stunning. Square Enix have done an absolutely amazing job getting human physicality recreated with a computer. The game was full of fighting seperated by cut-scenes and to be honest the film is the same, but how good are these fights? The freedom of CGI has allowed them to do stuff with cameras that you could never do with real actors and studio equipment. The fights therefore are intentionally overboard, taking on a Dragonball-Z "Flying in the air" persona at regular intervals.

T-Shirt Hell

No, not a plug for that website, which is very good btw.

I placed an order for 4 t-shirts on this site and the order was despatched very quickly, I definitely couldn't fault the service.

Tonight I come home to find one of the tshirts hanging from a hedge outside the flat. What the hell had happened here? I email the website to find out how they deliver the order if there are more than 1 items in the order, my worry being that the whole order has been sabotaged.

An hour later I go to close the curtains in the living room and spot another t-shirt on another hedge outside, so I recover that one. A quick walk around the neighbourhood and I find the others. I didn't see anybody watching out to see who was salvaging their stuff.

I can only assume that some kids had gotten into the communal entrance to the flat and stolen the package that would have been lying beneath my mailbox (it would be too big to fit in that). It wouldn't have been anyone of age as they'd have kept the t-shirts for themselves; either that or they don't share my sense of humour.

Fortunately I have a good sense of humour and I can laugh about it now but I was a little bit miffed when I came home to what I did. Looks like I'm going to have to send all my large orders to work, where I know it will be safe.

Daytrip to Brussels

I had this wonderful idea to visit a different city each month this year. In January I went to Dublin for the weekend, I failed to go any in February due to work commitments, in March I visited Amsterdam, and this month it was the turn to go to Brussels to see the Atomium building.

It nearly didn't happen at all when I managed to sleep in. I had set the alarm to the right time, just forgot to turn it on. Fortunately I'm a stickler for adding contingency into my trip arrangements and boy did I need it on this occasion. I was out the door within 10 minutes of having realised the time. It did mean however that I didn't have time for a decent shower and I having not shaved was visiting a foreign country looking rough. Ah well!

I was travelling by Eurostar which would get me there in around two and a half hours. For fifty pounds each way I got treated like a first class passenger being offered as much alcohol as I could drink and a very nice 3 course meal. No idea how I did that but I wasn't going to complain and I think it was the first ever champagne breakfast I'd ever had.

This is Gard du Midi station a little South of the main city centre, it's where the Eurostar stops and from here on it's time to travel on foot, and boy was I going to do a lot of walking today. The station also contains plenty of chocolate shops for buying souvenirs to take home.

This is a back street just inside the main city with the Palais de Justice in the background. Brussels has a big history in cartoon art, being the country of origin of popular works such as Tintin. In honour of this the city has a cartoon museum and a cartoon tour around the city with pieces of art painted onto the sides of buildings. It looks like I'd stumbled on one of the pieces here.

Built in the mid-19th century at the request of King Leopold, the Palais de Justice dominates the skyline in the southern half of the capital. For those walking around without a map, like myself, it offers both a great landmark to navigate from and being atop a hill, a perfect opportunity to see over the city. The square that it sits in is called Poelaert Square in honour of the architect that designed it.

Also in the square is this monument to the infantry, which I think was sculpted by Edouard Vereycken. It commemorates the losses of those soliders in both world wars.

A view from the Palais de Justice overlooking the city, which for the most part is pretty flat, the larger buildings stealing the skyline.

I think this is the Royal Music college on the Rue de la Regence, the road that joins the Palais de Justice and the Royal Palace.

This is Lady of Sablon's Church, which considering it was built in the 15th Century is one of the better looking churches around the city. I love gothic architecture and there are some great touches of it here.

Another recently white-washed buildings close to the Royal Palace. I can only guess that this is used for some sort of administration. It certainly looks like a serious building.

I would hazard a guess that this building is the Palace of Congress. Certainly a more modern building but still designed to fit in with the feel of the city. I was impressed with the sculpture outside, that's some balancing feat!

This is the Royal Palace which sits on the Southern Edge of the Royal Park. This is the official residence of the Royal Family but they don't actually live here, choosing to reside in Laeken, a district close by.

The Royal Park is actually quite small, you could easily walk from one side to the other in a few minutes. Like most parks its a great place to relax and there are plenty of trees around to block out the sound of traffic.

On the northern side of the park is the Belgian Parliament building, hidden behind a massive security fence that couldn't be passed. Funny how security is always beefed up around these places.

To the North-West of the Parliament building is the Colonne du Congres, a monument designed by Poelaert to commemorate the wars again. This one houses the eternal flame. This Poelaert really had the monopoly on tributes to the war-dead. It was built in the mid 1850s. The statue at the top is King Leopold.

This was hidden behind the column, and I thought it quite odd that of all the things to choose to decorate the side of a building, a picture of horses on a beach would be chosen.

Not really having a clue where I was going I thought using buildings as landmarks might be a good way to get around. Fortunately the city is laid out with large churches at the main intersections, perfect for navigation. In the background is the Church of St. Marie and I'd be heading off this way first.

These are the main botanical gardens. It looked like they were getting ready for some sort of festival so I didn't hang around.

Some more painted buildings. Its also worth mentioning the bottle bank, they seemed to be everywhere and its obvious that there is a major recycling initiative taking place here.

The church of St. Marie. From here I headed North West.

This the monument to Labour, opened to the public in 1950, sits on the side of the River Senne that runs through the city. It was designed by Constantin Meunier.

I loved this painted building, which I passed on the way to the next big church. It's a shame the graffiti was sprayed on here though, it's not even that good.

This is Brussel's Notre-Dame cathedral, burial place to several rulers of the country. This is actually the back-end of the church, the front was covered in scaffolding and safety netting.

Here is the Royal residence. I didn't know what it was until I'd paid my 2 euros and followed the crowd into the grounds. Security was tight here, if you so much as stepped on the grass you'd have men blowing their whistles and running at you.

The Royal Gardens were open today so I took the opportunity to walk around them, well I had paid to do so. This went on longer than I thought, the buildings went on everywhere, and the plants were much the same from one room to the next. This was built in in the late 19th Century, again at the request of King Leopold.

This is the main monument in Laeken built in 1878. Built to honour Belgium's first King, Leopold the 1st who stands in its centre.

In the Laeken grounds is this statue to the victims of the Battle of Britain. I have no idea what its doing in Belgium, but this country does seem to like it's war memorials.

This was where I wanted to end up, the Atomium building which was miles out of the city and much further away than I'd have liked. I could have caught a tram or train but I figured I'd see more of the city on foot so had no regrets.

Built in the 50's as part of the '58 Expo that took place here, the Atomium is now the weirdest looking exhibition centre I'd ever seen. Consisting of 8 spheres a lift takes you to the observation tower in the top most one and you then move from room to room making your way back down.

I'm guessing that is how it operates, after queueing for half an hour I got into the entrance hall to find a queue of at least one hour continuing inside it. Not having that much time left before having to catch my train I gave up and made my way back.

Built in the shadow of the structure is Belle-Vue, a small tourist complex that houses a small water park, miniature world and a themed parade of shops and eating establishments.

I did check to see if Mini-Europe had any coasters, but it did not. If it had it would have been an unplanned surprise. The trip wasn't about riding coasters, just going away for the day.

This is the Heysel stadium, which is unfortunately known for the wrong reasons. Some Liverpool fans were killed in a crush that happened here following a riot that broke out between their fans and those of Juventus. I didn't even know it was in Belgium, shows what I know...

I tried to travel back a slightly different route, heading back across the Senne and then following the train line down towards the station. On the way I passed through what had to be the commercial district.

The Gard du Nord station contains some stunning murals on the walls of the underpass. They were advertising some sort of tolerance campaign.

Another picture taken in the commercial district. Quite a nice sculpture I thought.

And another, this one was just a little bit odd and reminded me of something in a They Might Be Giants Video.

It was obvious that the on the route back I was travelling through busier and more commerical areas than the quieter more touristy bits. This is one of the smaller squares with the museum in the background and some native Belgian Indians playing their flutes outside. I'm sure this is some sort of scam, they seem to be everywhere!

A walk through some shopping streets, and a chance to eat some waffles and I was nearly back at the station.

A quick stock up of some cherry beer, chocolates for the workmates and a sandwich to eat whilst waiting for my train (I got back with about half an hour to spare) and I was soon on my way back home, with more first class pampering on the way home.

So did I enjoy Belgium? Considering it nearly never happened I am glad I made it. The city is very quiet with the crowds pulled towards a couple of main streets. I didn't get to do any exhibitions and I was a bit upset I didn't get up the Atomium, but I still enjoyed the day even if I did walk 15 miles altogether.